Share in the Blame.

I was given the newest disc by Caedmon's Call a while back; listened to it today on the way to drop Kristyn off at school. I was stopped by a song called "Share in the Blame". Song addresses our nature to shift the blame for stuff that happens to anything other than ourselves..."Don't blame the winter when you've forgetten your coat..." that kind of thing. I was struck by that in light of the last few days of my existence. I told Kari last night that I feel like the worst dad/husband/disciple of late...my journal notes that I have felt out of control. I completely lost it with all 3 kids last night, I have been distracted and exhausted and completely un-Brent since returning from the cities. I am trying to blame classes, my kids for being crazy, my body for being tired, the Prednisone I'm on for making me all loopy and discombobulated (great word!), when, in reality, I am to blame. How I handle me, my feelings, my actions, my reactions, all fall ultimately on me. I can choose today to be a man of grace and love, to bridle my frustration, or let it pour out. I can choose to turn off the tv and sleep rather than stay up late. I can choose to be kind, or be selfish. Events happen, things unfold, and situations do arise that I have no control over. My reaction are never justified unless I am willing to share the blame for them...

All said -- I am sure glad I've got Jesus in my life. Only by grace and forgiveness can I look my loved ones in the eyes after being cruddy to them. And I am glad my Savior will not count that against me...